THE POWER OF A PHOTO

Casually looking at some of my kids’ old photos, a heavy veil of sadness fell upon me.

I could see them when they were just some toddlers, when they where growing up and I realised how much I have lost not being there every moment with them.

I looked at how they were so beautiful (still they are, of course) and I think about the time that went away and the moments lost. No matter what I will do those moments will never come back.

Nearly I cried at watching my small Marti, I did split with her mother when she was still really small and I lost and made her lose so many precious moments.
No matter how many Avril Lavigne and Simple Plan concerts we will watch together, I know we will always have that huge black hole in our life.
And is the same for all the others and I realise that this is a wound that never will be healed, never for them but surely never for me too.

I know nothing can change the past and all we have to do is to live a good present, but this being surely a very good theory is sometimes very hard to apply for humble human being such as I am.

Sorry Kids, may you have a brilliant New Year and a life full of love and peace.
I love you so much, really.

Ban Naudom, 1st of January, 2549
C – COPYRIGHT – Claudio Romano

SAILING ABOVE CLOUDS

In the last month I have visited 4 different countries (5 if I include Issarn which is sometimes a nation by itself, as it is so much different than the rest of Thailand) and flown over two continents.
I’ve lost count of the many miles I’ve been travelling by air, train or car.

This reminds me of when I was a boy (and this means centuries ago) and how I’ve always liked to listen to Celtic folk music, surely too many groups to mention but anyway I would like to remember the wonderful Silly Wizard, De Dannann, The Pogues, Runrig, Christy Moore among others.

Always I’ve been fascinated by their immigrations songs, mostly tales of sailors and fishermen leaving their shores to go in new places in search of fortune, a new life and new opportunities.
The pain of parting from their dear ones, the adventurous journey and the usually sad and beautiful melodies were really catching my heart and soul. Please try to listen to Silly Wizard’s “Sweet Dublin Bay”, “Loch Tay Boat Song”, “Fhear a Bhata” or “Fisherman’song” to have a brilliant example.

Now while I am on board of flight TG 971 which brings me back to Thailand for the umpteenth time it just strikes my mind how my life has become similar to those songs and their lyrics.
How I can feel the same pain of parting from the loved ones and the joy of a reunion with some other beloved one, the tiredness and the possible dangers of this life.

The big difference is that I am not on board of a ship which floats above the ocean’s waves but I am on an airship dancing, and sometimes shaking, above clouds.

Did I become like those heartbroken heroes of such age old songs?
Am I a sailor above clouds?
Working in 4 different countries (Thailand, Switzerland, India and Nepal), living in Thailand and having my very, very dear ones in Switzerland make me an emigrant “sailor above clouds”?

Surely, I am but not a heartbroken one, in fact is the contrary as in the process I made some people heartbroken, and this will be my biggest regret.
But now I really think I was made for this kind of life, I was simply born for that.

I am like a tree with no roots and at the same time with so many wonderful flowers on my branches.
I have no home but at the same time many homes.
I have many people to love and I hope someone may love me back.
I have no other certainty that life is impermanent, to open my eyes every morning and to feel alive and be aware that the same day may well be my last one on earth.

And during my recent stay Switzerland I clearly discovered that I surely do not belong there anymore even though is my country of birth, but at the same time I can tell that for certain I do not belong to Thailand yet, even though I like very much to live here.
I do not belong anywhere, is this sad or this means I am lucky and free?
Is this meaning I have no other attachments than the people I love?
How is possible that I do not have any sense of belonging anywhere?
Am I such an individualistic person or an enlightened one (sorry for me but I bet is the first option)?

Will my life ever change?
I doubt, I will probably never be able to stop in any place for a long time.

Am I a natural born rambler?
It may well be.

Is this a way to escape from something or someone?
No, it did it so often and for so long in the past but when finally I acknowledged and accepted my nature I suddenly stopped escaping from things and in this process I came to accept finally my many, too many flaws and my blatant imperfections.

I came to accept my dark side and my grey side that for years I refused to acknowledge, I just wanted to have one bright and white side, the good side. I always wanted to be the good knight in a shining white armour but finally I accepted I am not and I will never be.

And now I also know that there is no good, there is no bad, we go through things in our life, through experiences that are moulding us in a way we may never have expected.

This is way I am now, with my grey and dark sides, life’s experiences helped me to discover and, most important, accepting them.

Yes, I am a sailor above clouds with all my human flaws possible, I hope not to break more hearts again but mine will never be broken as I have too many people to love and to care about.

PEACE AND LOVE.

Bangkok, 29th of December 2548

C – COPYRIGHT / Claudio Romano

MERRY CHRISTMAS A F@#*!

I would like so much to wish everyone a very Happy Christmas but how can I?
What is Christmas anyway?
A little more than a week ago I was in Bangkok, capital city of a country nearly 100% Buddhist and I saw that all shops and Malls were having Christmas decorations.
At every Sky Train Station huge screen were brainwashing people with every kind of Christmas shopping advertisement.
And if ever I should ask anyone in Ban Naudom about Jesus Christ, they would look at me wondering what the hell I am saying!

I was in Milan few days ago and at all underground train stations there were, once again, huge screens deafening people and pushing them to buy, buy, buy, buy and buy again… is Christmas.

And here back in Switzerland I can see around me faces of people who are so stressed by their shopping duties, I can see they have their hands full of bags but absolutely no joy in their eyes.

F@#*! Does anyone even remember what is supposed to mean Christmas?
And the fellow who is writing these words is surely not a good Christian, actually I am not a Christian at all but it really disturbs me to see that this f@#*!@g capitalistic society is polluting everything, even what is supposed to be sacred, such a Christmas.

I wish so much that all people in the world one day would go on strike and will stop buying anything for Christmas and any other artificially created festivals.
We people have the power to send a strong message to those in power if we only would want to, if only we could be aware of the way we are used.

But we’d rather close our eyes, our ears and go on like slaves, buying every kind of shit the system is selling us and, worse, in doing that we believe to reach happiness!

So f@#* Christmas, at least this kind of Christmas.

Pura, 25th of December, 2548

C – COPYRIGHT / Claudio Romano

A NEW HOPE?

CHAVEZ AND MORALES, A NEW HOPE RISING FROM SOUTH AMERICA?

BOH!

Back in the freezing cold of Lugano (Switzerland) this morning I did enter a Bar to drink a coffee that could have maybe provided some much needed warmth to my old body.
I did order my “Macchiato” and I took a look around. I could see the obvious many beer bottles surrounded by all kind of whisky, vodka and so on. Then I saw a small orange bottle, “Outox” said the label.
It seems is a kind of antidote against the effects of alcohol abuse and all its many collateral effects.
Not bad idea at all, first they sell to people lot of alcohol, driving them drunk and then they sell this “Outox”, to make them sober again.
It is the same as Mr. Bush would go to Iraq to bring medical help to the same people he killed and tortured.
My small and simple brain finds very difficult to understand all of this, I know everything is fucking business .. but…
BOH!

Pura, December 18th, 2005

C – COPYRIGHT / Claudio Romano

MEDITATION

Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, we are determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory or ideology, even Buddhist ones.
Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help us learn to look deeply and to develop our understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill or die for.

THICH NHAT HANH

THE GREATEST UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND 3

The Swiss are exporting cheese, chocolate and watches.
Thais are exporting rice and silk.
Chinese are exporting nearly everything available on earth.
From Japan we got all sophisticated Hi-Tech stuff.
Mostly those items are exported by sea or air.

And what about the mighty United States?
Well, they (or at least their president) pretend to export democracy and freedom.
How?
Through tanks, war planes and bombs.

The question is:
How can they export something they absolutely do not posses (under such president)?

THE GREATEST UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND 2

May someone tell me please who the fuck gave the right to the British to rename Mount Sagarmatha after someone called Mr. Everest?

Colonial rule?

LONG LIVE MAHATMA GANDHI:

Kathmandu, December 3rd , 2548

LONG LIVE HIS MAJESTY

I always have been opposed to any form of authority being teacher, politicians, preachers, army people or else.
But funnily enough I have a great admiration for Thailand`s King, moslty because He really loves and cares for His people.
So today December 5th, 2548, I would like to to wish KING BHUMIBOL a very happy birthday and as all Thais today would say....

LONG LIVE HIS MAJESTY.

THE SKY ROAD HOME

As I comfortably sit in a large Business Class seat on board of flight TG 320 I am heading home.
I am thinking back and reflecting about my short but surely beautiful stay in Nepal.

I liked it a lot, I did appreciate so much being back in Nepal after such a long time.
I really did like the place, its gorgeous mountains, its wonderful and beautiful children and its people kindness.
I saw a lot of armed forces around, lot of check posts but no trouble and at the same time, probably, many hidden Maoist saw me around.
This situation is very bad for the people who are, once again, the real losers.
Pokhara is a wonderful place, but its restaurants and hotels are depressingly empty.
Many tourists scared by media reports (who as usual I suspect did blow things out of proportion) are deserting the place.
Tourism is not a solution for real development since it has lot of harmful side effects, but nevertheless those people and many other here were living (rather well) thanks to it, but for the moment all is finished and they really struggle and suffer.
And the thoughts that the fighting parties are doing it for “the people” shall not be of any great consolation to them.

Apart falling in love with the whole Himalayan range, two moments are the landmark of this visit,

First moment: I just arrived in Techo, where we are starting our new project when, and while I was wandering around the playground full of shouting children, one sweet and beautiful small girl smiled and ran towards me saying “Hallo, what is your name? My name is Subarna Mali” another one followed and she said “And me I am Deepika Mali”.
I answered them, they smiled again while trying to repeat my name and then they went on playing Badminton.
A short, simple but sweet moment that will remain in my memory for a long time.

The other happened just yesterday evening, after I came back to Kathmandu from Pokhara.
My Buddha Air plane once again performed its duty and I landed at the domestic airport.
Walking down the road to the airport exit where all taxis were waiting I did notice so many brass pots along each side of the road in perfect line, with food on top of them.
They were for the King who was returning from a business trip in Africa.
Down, where the airport road meets the main one, army, police and mostly school children with Nepali flag.
I`ve been told that they have been forced by government forces to attend and wave at the King, otherwise funds will be cut for the whole school, same for the adults on the streets. It seems they were mainly government employees and they would have lost their jobs if they did not welcome the King.
People have been brought by buses from the country side, offered money just to make number and wave the national flag.
I could not believe it, as me and my friends were walking in the streets full of police, army and the people who have been compelled to be there.
What is this? It may have been probably the mostly absurd abuse of power that I have ever personally witnessed.

Forget writing about the way the King came to power, just after having wiped away the former King`s family (incidentally his brother) as every one here knows but, of course, nobody is allowed to talk about it. This story would make an excellent Hollywood movie script, but unfortunately is reality for the Nepalese people.
The Maoists are against the King who has curbed every kind of freedom, how can I blame them?
I was looking to the sky above me, I saw once again the wonderful Himalayan range, it was nearly sunset and the sun rays were giving it a wonderful reddish colour.
Under them man is still self destructing, hungry for money and power. What a pity.

I liked Nepal and I will come again for sure, beautiful, inspiring and very interesting.
Good place for the soul, the mind and the brain too.

Now I will be back home, in Thailand where we have a King who is really good, who is really extremely loved by the people and who really cares for his people.
The problem in Siam is another though, is the Prime Minister and his “strange” way to run the country.
There are no high ranges there, but wonderful beaches … and over them man is still self destructing, hungry for money and power. What a pity.



I had many good moments here, but the funniest has been once again courtesy of the U.S. Government, when I read that it has expressed its concerns and worries about the lack of human rights and freedom in Nepal.
Why the fuck can`t they just look at their own rotten yard?
Have they never heard of Guantamano?
Have they never visited their ghettos?
Have they already forgotten New Orleans?
Why them fuckers are not able to mind their own business?
Can`t they understand the world does not need them and their opinion?

And may someone please tell me why Americans voted for the dumbest, most dangerous and wicked president possible?

This is really THE GREATEST UNANSWERED QUESTION IN THE HISORY OF MANKIND.

Anyway, PEACE AND LOVE.

Flight Kathmandu – Bangkok, December 3rd, 2548

C – COPYRIGHT / Claudio Romano

ANNAPURNA

Buddha Air, one name one destiny.
Shaking and dancing little bit over the Himalayan clouds, a Buddha Air plane brings me to Pokhara, nice place indeed.

I must though admit that this trip has seen a rapid and deep decrease of my own personal hygienic standards. Not too many showers and I did practically sleep all this week with the same clothes I was wearing during the day.
And now while I am here sitting in the cold early morning in a Himalayan Hill waiting to see the sunrise over the wonderful Annapurna`s range I fear that tomorrow I will probably be the worst ever smelling passenger ever to have travelled on Thai Airways business class.
Yes you read it right indeed, I will be flying in business class but not because I did become suddenly rich but thanks to my precious Gold Card Member status and the courtesy of the airline which gifted me an upgrade for my birthday.
For sure once I will be in my Bangkok hotel I will spend one hour in a hot bath tub, full of scented soap.

But now I am here, in the cold of this hill. Getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning is not surely my favourite hobby, but today I took a chance hoping the clouds will go elsewhere leaving space to the sun. I woke up and anxiously opened my hotel room`s door and… here are the stars in a very dark but clear sky.
Here we go on top of the hill.

In my younger years I had the chance to do the same thing at Tiger Hill, Darjeeling.
I could have watched the sunrise over the Kanchanjunga but my deeply rooted laziness always had the better over my good intentions literally forcing me to lie under my warm sheets.
Now as I enter the twilight of my existence I realise this is too much of a good chance and I will not let it go.
Here I am raring to go.

And thank God I did, it was just wonderful. Simply breathtaking and no photos in the world will give what I have seen any justice.
All thoughts about the meaning of life disappeared while I was watching this mighty mountain slowly getting enlightened by the first sunrays.
Those mountains have been there for centuries, watching men`s meaningless struggles, men`s dumb fights for power, kingdoms, money and supremacy.
In the meantime how many times did we are born, die, reborn again?
But they always have been there, shadowing the planes, steady, mighty, majestic and powerful.

For a moment I forget about the Tsunami, the rich, the poor, about everything and I just sink into mother nature`s own masterpiece.
I repeat no photo will ever be able to describe the feeling.

At the feet of these mountains men are still fighting, I had to pass through many Nepalese army check posts to reach the top of the hill.
The Maoists are fighting the King and the Government, the King and the Government are fighting the Maoists.
Both claim to be fighting for the people, but I suppose no one ever dreamt to ask the people what the people really want… and I guess the answer would be very simple.
One shall not be a genius to imagine that all they would like is to have the chance to live in peace and to earn enough to eat and survive.

And the Mountain is watching while history is repeating itself all over again.

Poor humans we are, poor creatures we are, so stupid we are.

Pokhara, December 2nd, 2548

C – COPYRIGHT / Claudio Romano

NEPALI GIRLS

AREN'T THEY SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL?
DOES SOMEONE WANT TO HELP THEM, LOG ON AT www.fondarco.ch AND GET IN TOUCH OR MAIL TO ME.... WE ARE TRYING TO HELP THEM ALL.

AND AS THE BEACH BOYS WERE SINGING....

" I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE NEPALI GIRL"..


PEACE AND LOVE

POKHARA, DEC 2ND 2548